Wing King, Baby!


The rules were simple—five of Spokane’s finest (Paul and Bart from DTE, Nick from Home Economics 2.0, Andrew from Editor, Revised, and your truly) competing in two rounds of hot wings (some were surprised to find “wings” being “drum sticks”) eating. One point per wing; six per round; first round medium spice, second round even hotter. And to make it more colorful, we allowed stealing after a contestant had gotten through six wings, and thus could gather more points that way. Six shots of various beverages per contestant were also put out, and if anyone took one, every other competitor would gain an additional point. The winner would be crowned the Wing King (, Baby)!

That was the short version of a rule book the size of an encyclopedia.

And really, there wasn’t much of a contest. The rivalry known as DTE vs SFB (or Paul vs Myself, or whatever) went where you’d expect it to. In fact, let’s just look at the final standing:

  1. Remi (31 points, 18 wings)

  2. Paul (24 points)

  3. Bart (23 points)

  4. Nick (18 points)

  5. Andrew (12 points)

Really, it’s hard to say how I humiliated Paul more. Maybe by stealing wings from all the contestants? Maybe by stealing Nick’s last wing and giving it to him? Maybe by taking the wing back and eating it myself when Paul couldn’t do it?

Regardless, the king was crowned, and here you can see him, being a gentleman handing a wing to Paul. So he could at least try to keep up with the master.