SpoCOOL : A Spokane Blog

Tortilla Union does everything right. Or, as it is, Tortilla Union does everything the right way. There’s a slight, but important difference between the two.

Imagine the scenario: You’ve watched an average movie, feeling averagely hungry, and hey, what do you know, you’re in a mall, and what better place to find an average meal. You’re lying to yourself and you’re lying to us if you claim this has never happened to you. We’re all guilty of it. We want convenience, but we don’t entirely want to give up on our ideals. We don’t want to lower ourselves to Red Robin.

And that is why Tortilla Union exists.

This is the place you tell your friends you went to after watching Suicide Squad, feeling somewhat distraught at the lack of Jared Leto¹, and you just «wanted something quick and simple to go with a drink». You know what? Tortilla Union does that perfectly averagely. You won’t lose face going there—as long as you present it with a roll of the eye and a chuckle—and you will walk out having forgotten about the experience pretty much as soon as you’ve paid the check.

It’s like it was created for a mall, Tortilla Union. It’s as inoffensive to as many people as it possibly can be. Gluten free options abound, and tacos complementing the average beer selection just fine. You can happily eat and drink and socialize, well in knowledge of the two first not getting in the way of the third.

I’m not saying I’d go again, but then, maybe I’m lying to myself. It is what it is, Tortilla Union, and what it is, is either perfectly or criminally average, depending on your point of view.

¹ Words I never thought I’d say, but what the hell, right?

For more Restaurant Reviews, check out a full listing.

The Great Burger Chase 2.0 has Spokane’s foremost experts looking for the city’s best burger.

Hey, a 2014 classic re-appears! That’s right kids, 2014’s the Great Burger Chase has returned, this time with an intrepid team investigating Spokane’s scene deeper and dirtier than ever.

Garageland: this is quite an awesome spot. Mixing a record store and a restaurant/bar¹ results in a vibe any music lover can approve of, without it feeling hipper than thou or anything. Garageland is downright classy in its rock-y-poppy type of way. If Paul Simon² was a restaurant, this is what he would be.

The hamburger: Very close—possibly closer during your future visit—but not quite there. Garageland’s eponymous sandwich certainly has the profile the team approves of. Complex, yet restrained. Caramelized onions, aioli, and a creamy cheese—Délice de Bourgogne at that. You don’t have to write a dissertation to figure out what’s going on with this burger. Plenty of deep flavors, yet all with an overall cleanness for your enjoyment.

A burger Paul Simon would enjoy, I dare say.

The preparation of the actual patty is where it went wrong during our visit. We ordered the burger medium, which in my mind is a lot more fair than the harder-to-make-to-order medium-rare. What we got was decidedly well-done, and a bit too close to the north side of that. High quality toppings are important, certainly, but you are left with a disappointing result when the main feature is less than awesome.

Hey, you might have better luck than us. Either way, Garageland should be visited. It’s an awesome spot; the burger just wasn’t entirely there.

¹ It is family friendly by the way.

² «You Can Call Me Al» was even playing.