Exactly why we were at a Starbucks is better left unsaid, but there we were, and, as seen in advertisements anywhere there's a Starbucks -- everywhere -- so was the "admit it, you want one" poster for their Dark Cherry Mocha.
I, for one, didn't really want one. Yet I was intrigued, basically because the tag line seems a bit vague. Are we supposed to admitting we want one even though we know it's not going to taste particularly good? Or is it a Spanish Inquisition type deal, where we hear something enough times that we think we want one? My money is on the latter.
In that respect I suppose I did fall for the marketing, seeing I went with the Dark Cherry Mocha over a tea, though I will maintain it was a sacrifice for bringing you, the reader, the truth behind Starbucks new Frankencoffee. In fact, I feel that I took a big enough step just admitting I went to Starbucks.
And let's be honest here. This coffee is not good. Not even remotely. As Top That (we come up with awesome names!) put it, it tastes like tartar sauce. That's sort of an insult to tartar sauce, I suppose, but it's not a bad comparison.
Alternate ways of looking at it is that kinda just feels like a mix of chemicals. In fact, that's likely all it is. I doubt there's anything truly natural in here.
You know the spiel: Go with DOMA or Thomas Hammer or whatever else that actually tastes good. Starbucks is just kind of sad. The only positive thing I have to say about Dark Cherry Mocha is that it gives you a light buzz.
Then again, so does Red Bull.
Vote for Starbucks Dark Cherry Mocha: It’s your civic duty!