Articles

Pre-boiled, already peeled eggs

Product Placement / Spokane /

"I call them fake eggs, but no-one can tell the difference from real ones." So said the cashier as we were checking out, but we had an inkling reality might be a bit different with Egg Land's Best Hard-Cooked Peeled Eggs.

Really, how could we at least not try them, though? Egg Land's Best Hard-Cooked Peeled Eggs. "Tasty, Nutritious. Convenient -- Ready to eat". Some things are just so odd and so wrong, there is no way you can not try them. Or rather, no way for us not to try them. This way, you don't have to.

Open the bag, and you're greeted by six egg-looking... things. Having eaten one, I'm really not sure this could be classified as an egg though. Not that it tasted bad, mind you, it simply didn't taste like anything. My initial impression was to compare it to rubber, but that'd be an affront to a material with actual flavor. No, the consistency of the egg-like thing was indeed very rubber like -- I'm fairly certain it'd make a decent enough nerf football substitute -- but the flavor was more akin to air. 

The second experiment involved making deviled egg-like things. Here we used a high-quality mayonnaise, lots of spices, all combined into a flavorful mixture. Yet, the moment it was combined with the the egg-like thing, it was like all flavors evaporated. They were gone, and the deviled egg-like things tasted like the aforementioned non-seasoned ones. How this is possible, I don't know, but I can only assume we're dealing with something diabolic here.

Really, don't buy Egg Land's Best Hard-Cooked Peeled Eggs. They're not eggs, and even if they were, it'd take you, what? Less than half an hour to boil up and peel some actual eggs. It was fascinating to try them, though. I had no idea anything could taste like so little.