(SpoCOOL) A Spokane Blog

Illustration borrowed from The Oatmeal -- go there to view the full illustration.

It's no secret that most restaurant websites suck. I'm not talking about something as subjective as the look of them, but about the actual content and where you can or, more often than not, can't find information.

As a public service here are a few pinpoints about what could make your restaurant's website a bit more usable for those of us who actually use it:

The first and rather common issue is creating the website using Flash. It might sound like a wonderful idea, until you realize many tend to look up restaurant information on the go, on a cellphone. Flash + cellphones = :( and no workage.

(Also, don't use background music. It makes your site feel like a Geocities page from 1998.)

As far as the important part -- content -- goes, there seem to be some misunderstanding of what people actually look for. Long, glowing, adjective filled prose about how fantastic you think your restaurant is should be hidden away in an about section, not on the frontpage where it usually can be found.

Reserve the frontpage for the information people really need: Opening hours; a phone number; address and a link to a map; a clearly labeled menu link. That kind of stuff.

Commonly we keep finding opening hours under the contact section. Who the hell thought that would be a good idea? And for heaven's sake, make your menu HTML based, not a PDF -- have you tried to download an image drenched PDF on AT&T? Not a pleasant experience.

I mean, I get it; many think Don Draper-style marketing should carry over to restaurant websites, with an emphasis on colorful language and huge photos. It's really a lot simpler than that. Most people want to get in and out of the website as quickly as possible, and have the basic information almost literally screaming in their faces.

Show exactly what the restaurant is through the basic information first and foremost. That will get people into the restaurant. Hide the basics on the site, and another option is only a quick search away.

A few sites around town do get it right. Latah Bistro and South Perry Pizza, for example, have a lot of information on their frontpages with clear links to additional information. Simple yet effective.

Stop by Liberty Lake Farmers Market this Saturday, between 9am and 1pm, for the American Italian Club of Spokane's Festivale Italiano. There will be cooking demonstrations, food, and, hell, Veraci will be there, so you have an excuse to eat their pizza.

Like bicycles, films, Coeur d'Alene, and beer? Then join The Damn Rascals, a bicycle club, for a screening of Fixation at O'Shay's in Coeur d'Alene, Saturday July 30th. The bike ride starts at 7pm and the movie at 9. For more info, check out their Facebook event page.

Brews on Washington had their inaugural trivia contest last night, and if you didn't make it, you really should attend the next one. It all goes down on Thursdays at 7pm, and the questions are tough. Or they are for some: Team SpoCOOL doesn't just like to arrange contests, it likes winning them too. Yes, we took home two growlers and $25 off our tab as the runaway winners (a one point victory... whatever!) of the contest!

(And not to complain, but some of the questions could have been worded better: Carbonation in beer is not an ingredient, it's an effect. But whatever!)

Anyway, partake next time. There were tons of prizes throughout the night, and quite a few of us walked home with something.

Do, however, know: The inaugural winner will forever be Team SpoCOOL.

Venue: Blue Spark
Date: Saturday, 05 November 2011
Time: Late Afternoon

Contestants: 18 high quality players - a small fee might be charged to the players depending on the cost of the challenges. 

+Remi André - Mack Salmon *
+patrick O'Halloran - Lady Jessica *
+chris dreyer - BOBBY SLAY *
+Bart Mihailovich - POTAMOI *
+lars huschke - Eric Estrada *
+Jon Heusman Abuseman
+Paul Dillon - Russell Crowe *
+Blair Broughton - Wing King
+Teddy Benson - The Benson Burner
+Adam Membrey - Aladdin Sane
+Brett Anderson - Sweatingus Muchicus
+Nick Kovalenko - Da Crazy Ukraine
+Mark Simonds Sir Scoville *
Liz Hetland - Mz Liz
Seth Carey - Sr. Spice-a-lot
Kai Huschke - Scharfinator
Shaun M - Kilt Kicker *
Casey from Neato? *

* denotes original Spiceavore contestants.  

• Photographers: Mike Tigas and Nicole Hensley/Blush Response  
• Judges: Ryan Pitts and Someone approved by Bart
• MCs: The Guy Patrick Knows What is his name? and Geneva helping

Challenges: 

VOMITING =
IMMEDIATE EJECTION (UNLESS IT DOESN’T LEAVE MOUTH)
VOMITING THROUGH NOSE = +40 POINTS BUT IS NOT RECOMMENDED

ROUND 1 – SPEED TRIALS

18 PLAYERS
3 HEATS OF 6 PLAYERS (FOR EASE IN SCORING)
MUST EAT ITEM AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE (SHOULD BE <1:00)
HANDS IN AIR + VERBAL AFFIRMATION WHEN FINISHED
POINTS: 100, 60, 50, 40, 30, 20

WHEEL SPIN

ROUND 2 – TRIVIA

18 PLAYERS
2 HEATS OF 9 PLAYERS (OR 3 HEATS OF 6 PLAYERS)
6 QUESTIONS FROM TRIVIAL PURSUIT:
GEOGRAPHY, ENTERTAINMENT, HISTORY, ARTS, SCIENCE, SPORTS
TO BUZZ IN, EAT ITEM, AND THEN RAISE HAND + AFFIRM VERBALLY
POINTS: CORRECT RESPONSE = 50 POINTS, INCORRECT = -20 POINTS
PENALTY FOR NOT BUZZING IN AT ALL = -40 POINTS

OPTIONAL BONUS ROUND 1 – TAKE SHOT OF PEPPER TEQUILA, +40 POINTS

CUT LOWEST 6 PEOPLE AND HECKLE THEM. THEY SUCK.

WHEEL SPIN

ROUND 3 – BUFFALO PONG

12 PLAYERS
3 GAMES
LEADING 4 PLAYERS TAKE TURNS PICKING TEAMS OF 3 (HIGHEST FIRST)
CAPTAIN WITH LEADING SCORE PLAYS CAPTAIN WITH 2^ND PLACE SCORE,
3^RD PLAYS 4^TH. LOSERS OF EACH GAME PLAY EACH OTHER IN LOSER ROUND.
PLAY IS SET UP FOR BEER PONG WITH 6 CUPS
BUFFALO WINGS ARE USED IN PLACE OF PING-PONG BALLS
PLAYER SHOOTS THE BONE IN THE CUP
POINTS: 200 POINTS FOR WIN, -40 POINTS FOR EACH LOSS (MAX LOSS = -80)

OPTIONAL BONUS ROUND 2 – TAKE SHOT OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR, +40 POINTS

CUT LOWEST 3 PEOPLE AND TELL THEM THEY SUCK

WHEEL SPIN

ROUND 4 – HOTSAUCE PUDDING BALLOON
9 PLAYERS
PLAYERS RECEIVE PINT OF HOTSAUCE PUDDING AND SEVERAL WATER BALLOONS (IN CASE OF BREAKAGE) AND SPOON.
2:00 TO FILL BALLOON WITH AS MUCH PUDDING AS POSSIBLE
FIRST / BIGGEST (BY WEIGHT) BALLOON WINS
POINTS: 1^ST – 100, 2^ND – 60, 3^RD – 50, COMPLETE: 40, INCOMPLETE: -40
NO OUTSIDE ASSETS ALLOWED

CUT LOWEST 6 PEOPLE, AND TELL THEM THEY SUCK

WHEEL SPIN

LOSER ROUND – SPICY GRILLED CHEESE KARAOKE REVENGE
<16 PLAYERS – ALL ELIMINATED CAN PLAY
2 SONGS, 8 PLAYERS FOR EACH
PLAYERS RANDOMLY ASSIGNED 1 OF 2 SONGS TO SING,
ARRANGED IN ASCENDING ORDER, 30 SEC TURNS SINGING
SONGS: “TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART” + “ROCK N ROLL SUICIDE”
HAVE 4:00 TO EAT AS MANY GODDAMN GRILLED CHEESES AS THEY CAN
POINTS: 200, 120, 80, 40 FOR PARTICIPATION
PENALTY FOR NOT TRYING TO SING -- -40 POINTS
FIRST PLACE GETS TO COMPETE IN FINAL ROUND

WHEEL SPIN

ROUND 5 – ENDURANCE
4 PLAYERS – TOP 3 + WINNER OF LOSER ROUND
EAT AS MUCH OF 5-COURSE MEAL IN 5:00
COURSES MAY BE COMPLETED IN ANY ORDER
1 – BLOODY MARY + JALAPENO CUPCAKE (TO SPOIL APPETITE)
2 – SALAD W/ SPICY DRESSING
3 – SPICY SOUP
4 – SPICY NOODLES (PAD THAI? YAKI-SOBA?)
5 – BIG FUCKIN MUG OF COFFEE (HOT, NOT SPICY), SPICY ICEE
EACH COMPLETED PLATE WORTH 60 POINTS
EACH INCOMPLETE PLATE WORTH 0 POINTS

TOP CONTESTANT DECLARED SPICE CAPTAIN
TOP FIVE CONTESTANTS RECEIVE HONORS
ALL CONTESTANTS RECEIVE INDIGESTION + HOT SNAKES

(prizes if anyone wants to donate, if not you will just have pride)

OTHER: Chris is looking into patches for players.

OK, so here's a spot I didn't have that great memories from, but that clearly has improved over time. It is a decidedly good sign when the Godfather of Spiceavore proclaimed he wants to move to Spokane after trying Flamin' Joe's.

Because the selection here is any wing-head's wet, semi-spicy dream. You pick your quantity -- three of us went with the 50-Wing Combo for $41, as well as three Code Reds -- and pick your sauces. The latter is where Flamin' Joe's shines. You have your standard spicy sauces, ranging from 1-6.5 and then Code Red, the latter being spicy, though not insanely so. The 6.5s, which ten of our wings were served with, bring forth the sweat, but not in an uncomfortable way.

In that sense Flamin' Joe's might not be top of the list as far as insane spiciness is concerned, but there's a large list to choose from if you want a good selection of flavorful sauces.

The Mango Habanero, for example, is nowhere as crazy as it might sound, but is rather refreshing. The Thai Peanut reminds me of what we tried at Jones, though not quite as creative as their PBJ.

And so on and so forth.

There are about 20 sauces to choose from, as well as a handful of dry-rubs, and you can pick and choose with your order. Make sure you get at least one Code Red, as you can use the leftover sauce to kick up some of the milder wings.

The only real downfall here is the chicken. It's not bad, and "downfall" might be too strong of a word, but it just barely passes the bite-and-pull quick-eating technique.

Definitely go for the wings, then, but stay away from the other Applebee's Lite style food choices. The beer selection is good, however, so if you don't like wings, at least that's worth checking out.