(SpoCOOL) A Spokane Blog

Let's start with the only real glaring issue with the Yards: the logo.

Hmmm…

I get budgetary constraints and all, and getting an actual designer to create your logo can be costly. The solution, though? Don't try to go fancy, and keep it simple: use a classy font and call it good. Hey, it's what Massimo Vignelli recommends, so who are we to argue?

And as OS X comes with Futura pre-installed, you can mock something up in mere minutes using TextEdit.

The Yards

Hey, it's not original, but at least it's classic. (Maybe I'm just too much of a Bauhaus fan, but then, it worked wonders for Kubrick.)

Anyway!

The Yards itself seems like a perfect match for the KY, where a good variety of restaurants is opening. A fairly simple diner using good, fresh ingredients? Like Futura, it might not seem exciting up front, but I really do feel it has more to it than what one initially might think.

The menu is pretty classic as far as a more modern diner goes, all the type of foods that most anyone who want a casual breakfast (or, of course, brunch) would enjoy.

I gave the «Ol' English» a try, a breakfast that lived up to its name. The beans were great: not too sweet; not too mushy; just how I like them, accompanied by good, English style bacon. The only downside was the poached egg which was a bit overcooked. But hell, first weekend and all. I jot that down to opening jitters.

(And not to mention the place being packed. Good for Spokane, trying something new.)

The short ribs, too, were good. The sauce might be a bit sweet for some, but that's kind of a subjective thing. I liked it, and the meat was perfectly prepared.

Granted, the rice was a bit mushy, but again… Still early goings, and I would be pretty dang surprised if that wasn't anything but a result of the aforementioned jitters.

Service-wise the staff was friendly if a little flustered due to the sheer volume of patrons. Having a line out the door in a diner is kind of a rarity for a diner, or, indeed, any spot in Spokane.

Finally, the decor is everything the logo isn't: classy . A mix of classic diner with modern touches works well, and the light fixtures are particularly nice looking.

So, we liked the Yards. It might not be supremely exciting at first glance, but that's OK. A diner which has a fresh seasonal menu is a perfect fit for the KY. That is exciting enough for us.

Which brings us back to the logo. Why are we raising a stink about it? It's just a superficial detail, right? No! Wrong!

Had I walked past this place in a city I didn't know, I would have done just that… Kept walking. Somebody smarter than me referred to it as «drop n' play»-style. Somebody even smarter compared it to Sandlot's logo.

As see an excellent potential in the Yards, we reserve the right to be saddened by the lack of a good first impression given to us by its sign. That might be nitpicking to some, and that's OK. It isn't to us.

For heaven's sake, then, close your eyes and walk inside. Hopefully your first impression of what you find there will be as positive as it was for us.

Well, that truly turned out to be nuclear. Deadly, in fact. Not quite literally, but close enough.

We've posted the #Spiceawar recap on its own page. You probably should read it. Keep in mind, though, that there are some very graphic images in there. Very, very graphic.

So keep that in mind when you're reading it!

Here we are, then. Nuclear #Spiceawar goes down tomorrow, 2:30pm, at Saranac. You already knew that, though. 

Just for funsies -- because we are nothing if not fun -- we've come up with a hashtag for those who want to do #Spiceawar selfies. Because who doesn't want to do that?!

Add #spiceawarselfieclub (just a little something we came up with) either in Instagram or Twitter, and you could become famous (except you probably won't be).

Now, how about the rounds? What will you witness, and possibly partake in?

#1: The Spokane Special: A mild start with some Spokane-inspired classics. A burning hot slice of pizza paired with a shot of Frank's, and a shot of ranch. It all goes down easily, but the burn of the pizza is slow, and will make itself known sooner rather than later.

Bonus Round: Punch Box of Perturbation: The winner of the first round can go to the box, or choose another competitor to do so instead. With twenty choices, the box can reveal both wonders and catastrophes for the player. It's a gamble, but possibly, maybe one worth taking.

#2: Substitute Subs: A flaming hot sub from Spike's, and a shot of habanero aged Fireball whisky to wash it down. For those who had the displeasure of drinking something similar before, you will know that the relatively mild habanero can do true damage when combined with hard liquor.

#3: Santevore: A secret dish -- or possibly drink? -- from Santé and the Butcher Bar. From what we know, it will be inhumanely hot, particularly when paired with a juice from BEET It Up. This will be the round where the pros will truly be separated from the amateurs.

#4: A Trifecta of Sweetness: Spiceavore fans will know the Dave's infused Peeps are the nastiest combination known to man, and they're back. They will be accompanied by the devil's tort, and a particularly spicy Brain Freeze ice cream.

Bonus Round: A secret one at that: What happens here? You will find out soon enough.

From here, the top three will enter the final round, which we kick off with…

Bonus Round: The Loser's Punch Box of Perturbation: Here the third place contestant can choose if they want to go to the box themselves, or send one of the two other competitors in their place. A strategic maneuver, and one that needs to be properly thought out.

#5: The Saranac Three: This is where it all will go down. What is the Saranac Three? Sliders. But not just sliders: sliders of death.

And the winner of that round will be the ultimate Spiceawarrior!

Of course, there is more to it. The audience -- you -- can go to the Punch Box of Perturbation. You might win prizes; you might bestow horribleness on a player of your choice; you might give a player an upper hand. 

That's it. Tomorrow. 2:30pm. Saranac. You would be a horrible person if you missed it.

So, here we have a little grab-bag of Nuclear #Spiceawar news, because, really, why not? So without further ado…

PuckerButt Pepper Company has joined the fray of sponsors! Apparently we'll be getting some Carolina Respers in one form or other. For those not familiar with the pepper, it was named the hottest one in the world by Guinness World Records. So... Yeah...

We have learned that advertisement for #Spiceawar has hit New York. More specifically, the Times Square subway station, entrance on 7th and 42nd.

Five days in, and it's still there!

Want to see one of the many prizes at the contest? Emily posted this one, courtesy of Tactile Light.

And there will, of course, be plenty of audience prizes. I'm currently looking at a dangerous box from Dave's Gourmet, as well as a lot more pleasant one from DOMA.

Finally, a huge shout-out to every business that are backing both the event and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. It's great to see local and national businesses alike supporting this combination of a spectacle and a great cause:

Santé Restaurant & Charcuterie, Dave's Gourmet, Spike's Phillys and More, Monterey Cafe Spokane, Fireball Whisky, Red Bull, Brain Freeze Creamery, Rage City Tattoo, DOMA Coffee Roasting Company, Big Sky Brewing Company, Fremont Brewing Company, Volstead Act, BEET It Up Mobile Juice Bar, Red Couch Supper Club, Tactile Light Industries, Crashious Roadside, Erick Doxey Photography, Pepto-Bismol, PuckerButt Pepper Company, and Saranac Public House. (Not to mention the Inlander and the Spokesman for their coverage.)

Tomorrow: The five rounds of horribleness, revealed.