I can only assume Adam was more than a little let down by his life in the Garden of Eden. Sure, it started well, but having to give up a rib to find a soul mate sounds a bit over the top to us. Add to that a hardline on apple consumptions, and a widespread reptile problem… It puts the whole "paradise" thing in perspective, particularly with the eviction Adam and Eve ultimately were faced with.

Our trip to Stone Brewing Company might not have been of such biblical proportions, but we, too, ended up having to face unexpected disappointment. Maybe we longed for too much, I don't know, but when you visit what ranks highly on your top five breweries list, you arrive with certain expectations.

Take the brewpub for example: Visit Deschutes's and you are lavished with exclusive beers and great food. At Stone, not so much. The tap list is made up of your regulars, the kind of stuff you can find in most any decent bar in Spokane. Sure, you can get a couple of special bottles, but really, at $25 a pop for a pint?

The food also leaves a bit to be desired, unless you're looking for something a step above Twigs.

Fair is fair, though: The outdoor seating, the "garden", is nice, and you quickly forget you're smack dab in the middle of an industrial park.

That glimmer of OK-ness aside, more disappointment would soon rear its ugly head. A trip to the company store left us with not just empty feelings, but dreams of what could have been. Tucked in a corner, hidden behind rows and rows of Stone branded clothing, was a cooler stocked only with the type of bottles you can find at Yoke's. Stone, why did you feel the need to slap us across the faces like that?

Oh, we could go on… The almost pointless brewery tour, the complete lack of signage making us having to search for an entrance… The letdowns kept coming, like ruined pearl on a string.

We love what Stone produces. Their beer is like apples of paradise distributed outside the Garden of Eden. Is the brewery worth visiting? Well, yes, because who wouldn't want at least have a glance of paradise? In the end, though, you will likely leave, feeling empty, feeling there should have been more.

Sometimes—once a year, actually—something so important occurs that you just have to get out there and partake. I would add some humorous suggestions right here, but screw it, this goes beyond comparison. What I am talking about, of course, is May 17th, also known as Norway's Constitution Day!

Last year we took care of the celebration for you… Parades, traditional food, games, we had it all, and you enjoyed-ish it.

This year we feel like you're grown up enough to make your own party. But as we are all about being your kind guides, we'll give you some pointers you'll probably want to take note of:

• Eat: Amateurs will go with the lefse, but pros know you should make a cream cake. Cooks.com has a good recipe, just make sure to substitute the pineapple with strawberries. Now, if you want to go really hardcore, you can try making a kransekake, but that's… Not so simple.
• Drink: May 17th is, frankly, more of a drinking holiday. You can find akevitt in most liquor stores, as you should—this fennel based spirit makes for a great celebration. Pair the shots—traditionally you do three at the time—with a dark lager if you'd like, though some say that'll ruin the flavor of the akevitt. (And more will claim that as a good thing.)
• Play: Our game of choice is the potato race. Multiple contestants put one potato each in their individual spoons, then they race. It's that simple. Of course, they'll have to pick the potato up if they loose it, which is what makes this challenging.
• Parade: This one is simple: Play the Norwegian national anthem, march down the street, and wave the Norwegian flag. The more people, the better!

We'll be sorely disappointed if you don't post pictures of yourself doing any of this to our Twitter account, @spocool.